tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18652219377876927482012-01-01T08:35:40.610-08:00An extremely personal healing experiment. Drama and un-hilarity ensue.Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.comBlogger431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-74718603516744003802011-12-31T14:12:00.000-08:002011-12-31T14:17:29.026-08:00

THE GOOD Received a $10K promotion at my job that enabled me to do some badly needed saving and buying for my family. Quit my job for another that pays slightly more than the one I just left, allowing me to do more badly needing saving and buying for my family. Managed to work thru and completely extinguish (i hope!) 3 triggers that had been dogging me.  (a) I am no longer freaked out when I

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-67691230248092367892011-10-22T07:02:00.000-07:002011-10-23T16:09:59.746-07:00

So I just completed the 4th week of my new employment with my new employer and I must say, I am astounded by new discoveries I've made about myself in such a short time.   For example, did you know I was socially inept?? Like a huge honking bore?? I had no idea!  In my life I've spent at least a solid decade schmoozing and seducing persons for a living, most of the time for my own survival.  I

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-52806967848025938352011-09-24T12:24:00.000-07:002011-09-24T13:06:35.816-07:00

I think it's high time I posted something positive on this blog.  And I can't think of anything more positive going on in my life than my relationship with Mr. Laplain.  A huge part of what makes me feel so satisfied in our relationship is the fact that we are both trans.  Funny how cissexism works; I honestly had never considered this kind of relationship for myself until I met him... I had

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-24516255447932391322011-09-20T23:16:00.000-07:002011-09-24T12:38:57.856-07:00

If you missed my first Rant please click here.  Rant 2:  Legal Names and Former Legal Names. Just a bit of background before I begin.   Ive been looking for new employment ever since a few weeks after getting a huge promotion at my old job; I had realized that I had been promoted under sketchy circumstances.  As the months wore on I became more and more convinced that my working relationship

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-58473871345090688832011-07-20T06:26:00.000-07:002011-07-20T20:45:20.468-07:00

A brief but sincere plea. People, cis people, trans people, non-trans people of all stripes.  PLEASE stop saying "born as" when referring to the name one's parents gave at birth.  Even if it's your OWN name. Saying things like "Jane Laplain, who was born Guy Butcherson Laplain III in the 1970's, now lives in the pacific northwest blah blah"    is fundamentally cissexist. WHy?  The construction

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-14611992203116163532011-07-10T08:38:00.000-07:002011-07-10T16:21:25.720-07:00

Due to declining health, I've been unable to keep up a regular pace with this blog.  Alack and Alas.  I've been unable to keep up even an adequate pace with my normal routine, consisting only of going to work, and coming home.  Now I'm facing making a big decision about leaving my fabulously well paying job for something far less demanding (and less well paying).  I have an interview for one

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-41421252334319187452011-06-12T10:10:00.000-07:002011-06-12T17:22:11.044-07:00

For a while I've been meaning to keep a journal of the isms I encounter on a regular basis.  Not the isms that I encounter in media or news blogs or anything, but the everyday casual isms that real life people let fly in meat space.   So this week I attempted to make an effort listen for and wrie down the ones I encountered on my way to and from work.  To make it easier and less obvious to do,

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-21744580824390430442011-06-05T11:29:00.000-07:002011-06-05T11:33:15.747-07:00

You'd think I'd have figured these things out by now, but I only just today realized how triggering the summer time is for me.   All the extra sunshine, the heat, and the indoors humidity and the fucking houseflies that get in the house and never leave... all this brings me right back kicking and screaming to childhood summers spent in Oklahoma.  And I realize my stomach is tight and tense and

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-60885690648258303282011-05-21T08:42:00.000-07:002011-05-21T19:23:37.540-07:00

By now most people in the anti-oppression blogiverse have heard about the Satoshi Kanazawa Study that black women are "objectively" the least physically attractive of all human beings. I feel little need to tread ground other better blogfolk have already trod before me (with much more precision than I ever could).  Bottomline, Kanazawa's "study" was execrable, and Psychology Today's editors

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-50261464312165374152011-05-14T01:16:00.000-07:002011-06-25T11:05:36.023-07:00

I think there's a misconception about trans women that we don't experience body shame as women, except in the sense that we fail to "measure up" to cissexual female phenotypes.   Whatever body shame we do have, the thinking goes, surely revolves around the fact that we simply aren't "woman enough" physically and so we spend every waking moment trying to obtain that "woman enough" body. Piece by

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-105878509164841692011-05-08T15:14:00.000-07:002011-05-08T17:13:32.037-07:00

Okay This effed up article is proof of why a reframing of mainstream perspectives on transsexuality as a phenomenon is CRUCIAL for the survival of trans people as a community. Note their cissexist framework from the jump:   the characterization of "transmen" as biological females and cis women/girls as  "typical girls" , how young CAFAB children who are vocal about not being girls are presented

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-82499380217467780472011-05-07T20:47:00.000-07:002011-05-08T18:56:04.636-07:00

Trigger Warning: description of rape, graphic violence. I remember when he hit me in the face with the butt end of that pistol.  It was a total sucker punch move I never saw it coming. It was so uncalled for, almost like a deleted scene from a movie.  I remember thinking how absurd, now really.  I remember seeing stars and thinking "oh my god, it's true. you really do see stars" and then feeling

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-28065393113097376392011-05-07T15:49:00.000-07:002011-05-07T16:36:25.009-07:00

This blog just changed my life today, I think. This article at the wonderful Leaving Evidence, explains the concept of access intimacy . I'm a bit shaken up because when I apply the concept to my own life, I clearly see how lacking my life is in ALL forms of intimacy, not just this one.  But access intimacy is something I've certainly experienced in many ways myself and never had a name for. 

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-4246903622412340272011-05-01T11:06:00.000-07:002011-05-01T12:40:29.043-07:00

Lately I've been re-evaluating my concepts of "trans identity."  I just read a post on the excellent blog Critique Of Popular Reason, about the use of trans and cis as adjectives rather than prefixes, which has sort of guilted me into cleaning up my use of the terms and being more meaningful in what I intend to convey when I use them.  I admit I've been haphazard in writing  trans woman,

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-51814139121502614512011-04-23T18:17:00.000-07:002011-04-23T19:33:57.895-07:00

I've been following the latest story making the rounds about the trans woman who was severely beaten by two cis teenage girls at McDonald's..  I really ought to stay out of the commentary on this one.  For me the wounds are still raw when it comes to this particular form of violence.  I already regret my comments on one blog.. tho they may not even be approved. But I didn't want to lose the

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-65564448924883861792011-04-16T19:55:00.000-07:002011-04-17T20:28:56.653-07:00

WARNING:  Purely personal ranting and purging ahead. This isn't really a continuation of my post on privilege, but it does have alot to do with my actual privilege.  And alot to do with being lucky as hell with no small amount of skill at manipulating others. At the beginning of this year I was in a dead panic about my employment situation. I had just found out that my company was about to sign

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-21550076870959382642011-03-27T10:55:00.000-07:002011-04-09T17:14:59.886-07:00

i asked u 2 shave ur beard becuz i was on youtube all day and daydreaming i was sarah and ella and then i saw mel torme and thought how much he reminded me of u when u shave when he was a tiny young man not at all  a handsome man but he was "the velvet fog" and beloved i know u say ur eyes are green but they aren't and i'm sorry but how many hours have u spent staring into ur own eyes none/

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-1757774142980660232011-03-13T14:09:00.000-07:002011-03-13T14:23:47.775-07:00

I totally missed an opportunity to be interviewed for an international feminist project.  All because I've been forgetting to check one of my eleventythousand email addys. Back in January, apparently, Jessica Yee of  Feminists With Disabilities tried to contact me! An excerpt: .... "I am currently writing a book called "Feminism FOR REAL - Deconstructing the Academic Industrial Complex of

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-44769627197607299502011-03-12T16:55:00.000-08:002011-03-12T17:15:24.106-08:00

This week I've been dragged kicking and screaming into 21st century social networking. I now have a twitter account. http://twitter.com/#!/janelaplain If I can ever figure out how to add that button to the layout to take you there automatically, I will. I can't promise to twitter all that often or ever. But I do understand it's become quite a formidable news source, so I plan to use it for

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-91680438694324034792011-03-12T12:59:00.000-08:002011-03-13T09:11:23.899-07:00

   This is an extremely difficult post for me. It's a post I've been meaning to do since I began the blog and have been putting off.  A post wherein I acknowledge the privileges that have been attached to my body, as well as the stigmas.  MY BODY is such a complicated topic for me.  Thru out what seems the entirety of my life, I've felt detached from it and burdened by it and privileged by

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-49615463516170715612011-02-25T19:39:00.000-08:002011-02-28T05:33:38.451-08:00

Let's file this post under things that I notice aren't being said in common anti-transphobia blogs I've seen.  Not that I've seen every single blog in this vein in the blogosphere, I haven't, not even close.  But I do think that certain responses should be a lot more common when the issue of "should pre-ops and non-ops be allowed to .... XYZ" seems to come up. I am referring of course to the

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-35193936954875909092011-01-16T17:17:00.000-08:002011-01-16T20:49:57.378-08:00

So.  In the interest of using this space to process my feelings honestly, it's time I got embarrassingly honest.  These are things that need to be said out loud, things that have gone unsaid in my life for too long.  To the point that the silence has become deafening here in this howling vortex where my relationship should be. In cissexist medical terms there is no category for what kind of "

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-2799879391655440842011-01-11T05:14:00.000-08:002011-01-11T05:34:30.230-08:00

Quickly as I can, anyways. The Princess Boy I am only addressing this so certain  people offline will finally stop asking me to comment on this.  I have no comment on The Princess Boy.  That is, none on the child zirself, mind you.  I refuse. I have in fact gone out of my way not to read up on the media phenomenon because something about it all makes me VERY uncomfortable. No, I don't object

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-37367691930615556762010-12-16T20:29:00.000-08:002010-12-17T22:51:20.278-08:00

I am still very new to anti-oppression work. However I do know enough not to bother those who are more skilled in recognizing and dismantling various oppressions with questions I can easily answer for myself by doing research.  "Please explain why this is wrong" is the exact opposite attitude to take when learning about 'isms... If you aren't willing to take responsibility for your own ignorance,

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-87972793534476357342010-11-28T04:49:00.000-08:002010-11-28T04:53:25.583-08:00

Many good things came from taking time off.  I was able to channel the emotional energy I had been wasting fretting about how to blog about my life and my relationship back into ... my life and my relationship.  I gained much needed insight.  Mainly, I really do need the guidance of a professional if I'm going to manage my PTSD properly.  That said, I haven't had much opportunity, financially

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-6786641191890746062010-10-07T05:25:00.000-07:002010-10-22T07:28:12.150-07:00

Readers I hate cliches with the burning passion of a thousand suns. Particularly when they turn out to be 100% correct.  But it's true what they say about Life:  It's the stuff that happens to you while you're busy making other plans. I had planned this blog to be so much more than what I was able to make it out to be. I had planned this blog to be a vehicle for exploring complex issues of

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-89494869865351659542010-10-06T19:34:00.001-07:002010-10-06T19:35:33.883-07:00

i've been angry with you becuz you've been visibly hostile with me .. of course you've had right to be. I know that's my own fault for not even explaining why * I * was being hostile and distant with you, but I swear to you i was unable to articulate myself until i did. and then even after that, you were distant and snippy everytime i did try to initiate conversation with you, at a time when i

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-37059256103851536332010-10-06T19:22:00.000-07:002010-10-06T19:23:53.038-07:00

Several things. In no particular order. I found out my job picked up a huge military client. This client demands that we all submit to background checks.  I am not out to anyone at work. It is in fact, not a friendly place to be openly queer anything, much less trans. I am scrambling looking for a new job because I'm fairly certain that once I'm outed at work it will be a glass ceiling

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-25123934288426321432010-09-21T19:09:00.000-07:002010-09-21T19:11:37.287-07:00

You'll have to forgive me for sounding a bit like a high school student on summer assignment thru out this interview.    Macon of anti-racist blog Stuff White People Do (currently on hiatus), was so gracious to agree to be one of my first subjects, and then  ended up becoming my VERY first.  I'm glad it turned out this way. As I've said here before, I credit SWPD with helping me come to a place

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-71397887641785204842010-09-11T10:04:00.000-07:002010-09-11T11:36:23.536-07:00

One generally shouldn't initiate a slammingdoor fight with one's fiance the night before one's official anniversary/ birthday.  Especially after he has baked a cake from scratch, made you a delicious salmon dinner, rubbed your shoulders, sat with you thru a sappy chick flick (Corrina Corrina),  and in general tried his best to please you all week in preparation for the big day.   But where would

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-80884354342954791462010-09-04T18:23:00.000-07:002010-09-04T18:23:36.278-07:00

Hey all... seems like I'm getting several copies of comments mysteriously. Especially ones that are anonymous.    I just tried logging off and commenting anonymously myself.  Was harder than I anticipated! I am going to tweak the comment functions a bit.. or try to... I'm an infant at this.   But if you've been having specific trouble leaving comments here at this blog please let me know.... 

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-33706399079360042772010-09-04T17:42:00.000-07:002010-09-04T21:44:49.551-07:00

Mr. Laplain let me open one of my birthday presents early, since I've been so whiny and difficult of late.  Tantrums!  They're not just for toddlers anymore!  Anyway, it was a book.  One I haven't been able to put down since. Whipping Girl, by Julia Serano has been on my must read/must have list for a couple of years now.  She's one of several important Trans authors where I've read alot ABOUT

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-29098357034885673622010-08-31T20:49:00.000-07:002010-08-31T20:53:53.400-07:00

I have just endured three of the most grueling weeks of all my purple life, as the artist formerly known as O(+> might say.  But hopefully I have reached a plateau. I recently quit one of my grueling jobs and have added hours to my other grueling job, with the grueling manager whose grueling, anxiety ridden demeanor is largely responsible for the grueling nature of the last three weeks I just

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-58600269029546537352010-08-14T08:49:00.000-07:002010-08-14T08:50:37.305-07:00

Okay so I underestimated the time lag involved in doing interviews with very very VERY busy people who barely had time to talk to me in the first place, and then adding the corollary that I wouldn't post said interview without them signing off on the final product first.  I've been waiting for daaaaaaaaaays for that final sign off.  I don't think they are ducking me I just know that they are

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-54390055177255336292010-08-07T05:57:00.000-07:002010-08-07T09:17:39.189-07:00

Mr. Laplain* is going to leave me. He hasn't said this. He hasn't hinted at this.  He hasn't behaved like he doesn't love me anymore. But no man, no human being, can take as much rejection as I've been dishing out. I am not a monster. I don't wish to reject him.  I am still in love with him like I've never loved anyone.  I hate it whenever he is out of my sight. But I have no way of explaining

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-24509469328201970652010-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:002010-08-07T09:09:31.756-07:00

Now that I'm sure what I intend to use this blog space for, I should make the rules and gameplan clear.  Mostly for my own peace of mind, its not like anybody even knows this blog exists yet.  But  for any new readers who might wander in (it could happen!), here ya go. COMMENTING BOUNDARIES I will not tolerate trolls. Not even a little bit. Trolling to me means making threats, hurling epithets,

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-38685079159240148632010-08-05T07:45:00.000-07:002010-08-05T08:30:50.628-07:00

The debacle got even worse after I had posted about my exchange with the WOC commenter whose comments I had misinterpreted. But then it finally stopped. She has responded with another sincere apology. It meant alot to me so I'll post it here: ................ @Jane.. I can't see how else to clarify what I have said, in my own style without hurting you. For me,that is unacceptable. Please come

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-20646783872243329322010-08-03T15:11:00.000-07:002010-08-04T07:37:49.380-07:00

Okay so I have to take a break from Stuff White People Do. I credit that blog with helping me begin to unpack a whole world of trauma and internalized racism that I had left untouched for most of my life. I still value that forum. But it's time to take a break from it as soon as I see people elevating the metaphorical Rape of Black people by Racism over the feelings of actual POC survivors of

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-68504193336325279602010-07-31T08:42:00.000-07:002010-08-04T21:40:11.291-07:00

After some soul searching I've come to realize that this space needs an overhaul. Not just the layout, (Which OMFG please make it stop, Jane!) but an overhaul of purpose and format. I've had to answer questions that should have been alot easier to answer if one intends to start a blog. Namely: Why do I want to do this? What do I hope to accomplish? Is this blog even necessary? The last thing

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-79589480404572983942010-06-27T13:49:00.000-07:002010-06-27T18:04:40.263-07:00

This post is in response to all of the apologists for the Seattle Police Dept of late. I live in Seattle and have some experience with the intersection featured above. There is no argument about whether or not the girls were afoul of the law here. Yes, they jaywalked. Yes they assaulted a police officer. Yes they resisted arrest. None of that was ever up for debate. And while I'd love to

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-37275946164799768532010-06-13T10:19:00.000-07:002010-08-01T15:59:25.874-07:00

I am what they used to call a "True" or "Classic Transsexual." These terms are bordering on the archaic now, but the narrative has never gone away. What is it like to be the kind of text book transsexual the "experts" used to write about it , anyway? I can only speak for myself here. So here goes. I knew I was a girl when I was 3 years old. THREE. Whenever anyone asked if I was a boy or a girl,

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-74823526018277668282010-05-01T17:32:00.000-07:002010-05-11T10:31:21.194-07:00

Cisgender. Cissexual. Cis.It's as though before I knew these terms, I was wandering in a thick fog of SOMETHING... a perpetual feeling of unease, of being alone on stage reciting a monologue I wasn't prepared to give. I, the trannie, am the actor. Everybody else, the audience. No, to be honest with you it was much more like I was auditioning for the part of woman... ALL THE FUCKING TIME. In my

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1865221937787692748.post-13694120078727963332010-04-26T20:55:00.000-07:002010-04-26T23:53:00.890-07:00

-I've spent a good six weeks or so drumming up the courage to create this blog and now that I have, I'm realizing I'm not sure I have much to say.No, that's not true at all. I'm realizing that I may not know how to say very much at all. To hear me tell it, I've lived my entire life in a series of carefully edited anecdotes (did I tell you how my mom almost died while giving birth to me?? She was

Jane Laplainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17679382711142268177noreply@blogger.com1